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Wednesday, 20 January 2010

  • is my boyfriend abusive?

    I've been dating "D" for 5 months now.  I love our relationship but he messes with my mind sometimes and he doesn't stop or seem to care so much.  Over the time of getting to know him, i found out he would have random girls he knows on facebook to write on his wall to make him look cool. I know this is immature but i don't really seem any harm in it. It also stems from his insecurity as well.  He has also made a fake profile of a girl who he would wirte on his wall a couple of times as well.  So tonight when i checked my facebook, i saw in my news feed a random girl write on his wall in a very flirtatious way.  I clicked on her and it looked like a fake profile.  When me and "D" talked later that night he said " did u see the comment my tutor left" ( his real tutor, not fake), and so i took this as him wanting me to see the other girls' comment ( since he tells me he likes when i get jealous). I told him i notied the girls' comment and i automatically asked if it was another fake profile since it looked really fake.  I thought he would take it lightly but he didn't. He said that it was a real girl who went to his school.  I played along with it and asked if he would hang out with her. and he was like " yes bitch i can do whatever i want, don't try to control me."  We got into an argument and he hung up on me. I called him back and we talked about it but it really pissed me off.  He just kept putting the blame on me that i'm controlling for asking him if he would hang out with that girl. I told him i only asked that question because i knew it was a fake profile. I thought that after i asked that he would laugh it off and tell me the truth.  After we discussed this and got over our argument, he told me he loves that i'm jealous and passionate about him, which baffles me when he would get so bent out of shape over my question. After all of this, he still hasn't admitted it is a fake profile and i know he likes it when i am upset over other girls because he has in the past made me very jealous and insecure over this friend of his that is a girl. 

    Was it wrong of him to lie about this? Is this abusive that he is messing with my mind?

    Was I wrong in any of this?

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

  • boyfriend and sex

    I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months now. when we had sex for the first time, he got really nervous and basically it didn't work out. One reason this happened is because he says he's really nervous because i'm the first girl he cares about and he will eventually get over it and we'll try again.  But another reason he says he's not 100% attracted to me and he's very particular....He says the main reason is that he's nervous though.  We have come a long way.  In the beginning when we were friends, he never wanted to do anything sexual with me, but now we do, just not sex yet.  It took a few months of growing to get to really care about each other to start anything sexual, which is good cuz we have a stable and concrete relationship but i do want to have sex with him. Sometimes i bring it up and he says it feels like i am pressuring him, so i try not to bring it up.   Should i not bring it up anymore? wait it out??

Saturday, 12 September 2009

  • any advice?

    me and my bf are very close and have a pretty good reationship. but what really bothers me is when he brings up this other girl that he is very good friends with. and i get really jealous and posessive of him and upset. he tries to reassure me by teling me he likes me more and i'm better (more dependable and loyal) but he says she's prettier than me but i'm still "better" than her.  he tells me hee doesn't want me to think this is a competition, but that he just needs to let his emotions out and tell me what he's feeling. I understand his point but it bothers me because he goes back and forth with me and thinking i'm the "best". he told me that he wants to play the field when i go back to college ( even though i'm going to be coming home at least every other weekend to see him) but he thinks after that he will be mature and will probably want to be with me. He admits that he is immture but it  really upsets me that i feel unsure about him all the time, yet he tells me i don't need to be unsurebecause even if he is dating someone else he would still "hook up" with me and " be with me". so am i just going to be the "other woman" always?? he says he woul want to marry me but then he gets very fickle. i guess this isn't so atypical of a 19 year old boy but ive grown very attached to him that i'm scared to lose him.  he also tells m that when i go back to school, he doesn't want me to be with any other guy, yet he still wants to be able to be with other girls. my situation sort of sucks but i guess i should be happy with what i do have with him. i don't want to be with anyone else but if he is going to hook up with other ppl while i am away, i guess i should too and move on and have other options so i can be healthy and not so stuck right now.

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

  • Do/ Should other people's moods affect you?

    If someone is in a bad mood or just in some sort of funk, should that affect you and your mood? Me and "D" get together every day.  Yesterday was perfect. Today, not so good. He started school and he was really tired today and just sort of in a mellow mood.  We hung out at after his classes and then about an hour later he wanted to go home and shower and rest up. then we hung out again later that night for another hour or so then he had to go home cuz he has early class tomorrow and he was exhausted.  After he left the first time to go home, i was sort of upset.  I took it personally, and it put me in a bad mood.  I felt like things are changing etc and i can't depend on him. But then when we saw eachother again later that day, he just said he's tired and that's it,it has notihng to do with me. he loves seeing me and not every day can be a perfect day. I guess dealing with the "bad" days is just something that is normal in life and there's nothing to it.  I think i may be immature and a little insecure for this to affect my mood and how i think he sees me.  Is that a normal reaction for me to feel? How can i not let this affect me?

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

  • did my mom meddle too much?

    so sometimes when me and "D" hng out we playfully wrestle eachother and i have gotten a  few bruises from it.  he's NOT physically abusing me at all. It's all been out of being playful with eachother. the first time my mom saw the bruises she was really worried about it but i assured her it was fine. she told me to tell him to just be more gentle with me since even though he's not doing it on purpose, he should not give me bruises because one day i could get hurt really bad by accident.  Just the other day she saw a new bruise, and she got upset again. I assured her again it's nothing. The next day when "D" came over she sat down and talked to him about it, and told him that even though it is playful i shouldnt get any bruises, and how she's been through a lot and that there are abusive ppl out there etc... I was so angry she talked to him about it, i feel like she betrayed my trust.  "D" doesn't want to come oer to my house anymore because of it and i'm really upset. He would come over every  night but for the past souple of nights he hasn't.  He said he wanted to talk to my mom and iron things out and my mom wanted to talk to him too and just explain herself again since it seemed to be taken differently than what she wanted. he thinksshe hates him and thinks he's abusive, which is not what she meant at all. bottom line, he says he doesn't want to com over for a while. But then he'll make some jokes and say "if your mom does this, or ur dad does this for me etc.., i'll come over again".  this makes me think that this is jus a game to him and my feelings are really on the line here. I don't know what to do, cuz i'm so upset he's not coming over.

chicagogirl

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    • Name: chicagogirl
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 1/2/2009

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  • chicagogirl
    @MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - aww thanks! =) Happy Valentine's Day to you too! and i'll definately keep u posted on everything going on haha!
  • MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga
    Happy Valentine's Day! Wanted to send you a little message...You are more than just a random hookup. I believe you will find a guy who knows that. It may take a few tries to find him, but you will. And until you do, have fun, be safe, and don’t forget to post so I know how you’re doing, good or bad!