me and my bf are very close and have a pretty good reationship. but what really bothers me is when he brings up this other girl that he is very good friends with. and i get really jealous and posessive of him and upset. he tries to reassure me by teling me he likes me more and i'm better (more dependable and loyal) but he says she's prettier than me but i'm still "better" than her.  he tells me hee doesn't want me to think this is a competition, but that he just needs to let his emotions out and tell me what he's feeling. I understand his point but it bothers me because he goes back and forth with me and thinking i'm the "best". he told me that he wants to play the field when i go back to college ( even though i'm going to be coming home at least every other weekend to see him) but he thinks after that he will be mature and will probably want to be with me. He admits that he is immture but it  really upsets me that i feel unsure about him all the time, yet he tells me i don't need to be unsurebecause even if he is dating someone else he would still "hook up" with me and " be with me". so am i just going to be the "other woman" always?? he says he woul want to marry me but then he gets very fickle. i guess this isn't so atypical of a 19 year old boy but ive grown very attached to him that i'm scared to lose him.  he also tells m that when i go back to school, he doesn't want me to be with any other guy, yet he still wants to be able to be with other girls. my situation sort of sucks but i guess i should be happy with what i do have with him. i don't want to be with anyone else but if he is going to hook up with other ppl while i am away, i guess i should too and move on and have other options so i can be healthy and not so stuck right now.

so sometimes when me and "D" hng out we playfully wrestle eachother and i have gotten a  few bruises from it.  he's NOT physically abusing me at all. It's all been out of being playful with eachother. the first time my mom saw the bruises she was really worried about it but i assured her it was fine. she told me to tell him to just be more gentle with me since even though he's not doing it on purpose, he should not give me bruises because one day i could get hurt really bad by accident.  Just the other day she saw a new bruise, and she got upset again. I assured her again it's nothing. The next day when "D" came over she sat down and talked to him about it, and told him that even though it is playful i shouldnt get any bruises, and how she's been through a lot and that there are abusive ppl out there etc... I was so angry she talked to him about it, i feel like she betrayed my trust.  "D" doesn't want to come oer to my house anymore because of it and i'm really upset. He would come over every  night but for the past souple of nights he hasn't.  He said he wanted to talk to my mom and iron things out and my mom wanted to talk to him too and just explain herself again since it seemed to be taken differently than what she wanted. he thinksshe hates him and thinks he's abusive, which is not what she meant at all. bottom line, he says he doesn't want to com over for a while. But then he'll make some jokes and say "if your mom does this, or ur dad does this for me etc.., i'll come over again".  this makes me think that this is jus a game to him and my feelings are really on the line here. I don't know what to do, cuz i'm so upset he's not coming over.

My formal date just called me to talk, right when i was thinking about him and about last night at formal.  We talked about how we're both frustrated that we're both not attracted to eachother and he told me he wouldn't want to date me.  I think he called me because he knew i was reading into things, and i guess he wanted to clear things up before i got hurt.  I told him that i wasn't attracted to him either, but i like his personality. and he said that i have a better outlook on things than he does.  He's frustrated too because he really likes my personality but he wants a 'hot' girl and i'm not that.  I'm pissed that guys can't slowly find a girl attractive by getting to know them (or at least he can't), like some girls do with guys.  I'm also pissed cuz he's not hot either. I still don't get how can behave the way he does with me and not feel anything, but i guess that's just his personality.  He also told me that when someone gets really close to him, he sort of lashes out at them and pushes them away (which is what he does to me sometimes). He said it's because he has intimacy issues.  I don't know how he can get over that, but i guess it's just something he'll need to work on, because if he doesn't, he won't be able to have a long term relationship. i'm also upset cuz  if I didn't find someone at least a little attractive, i wouldn't be sleeping in the same bed as close together as we did at formal.  I just don't get it, but i just need to realize none of it means anything.